The Case of the Airports...

And why do I feel like I am in Home Alone? Why why why do I feel like instead of going to awesome blossom Miami Ill be routed to Oregon? Meh, o well.

Im sitting in a lounge in Dulles Airport with a very very fast wifi connection. Watching the Office and eating snacks provided by the USO. Does it get any better than this?

Well, maybe it does...but seriously, this is almost as good as a business class lounge...or as the show we went to last night....




Which is a live version of this song


Sadly, after listening to about 2 hours of so so poetry, I was fatigued and had to call it an evening...o the potential. :D

Well, off to Miami in a little bit. Lets see what kind of trouble I can get into tonight.
Actually...no, lets not;)



OOOO wait.
Ok, so im in the Caribou coffee yesterday morning and this fine brown girl is in front of me. So we strike up conversation and low and behold...there was a man in there. Turns out this girl/guy was a tranny who had been getting more and more woman like since 14. he/she was 21. We chatted about this and that but the highlight was that Eddie Murphy regularly 'dates' the 'girls' wooo hoo. good stuff.

:D

Ok, good night.

Bus boys

Bus boys

If you ever come to DC. Come to busboys and poets on u street. But get
here early as fuck, because they will not let your ass in the door.

Mobile.

Welcome back

Welcome back

I can't believe I paid $25 for a haircut...and I'm not even covered on
gold. And women are nov flocking too me...yet.

We shall see America, we shall see.

Sent from my iPod

Self-service Bailout

Dear Mom,
Since they say everyone in America is in a recession, and big banks, auto-industries, and others are getting bailed out and all of that....I figured you too deserve a bailout.

Granted, this is more like a little bit off the tip of the iceberg that went into raising me, but more than ever, here is to you for the now.

I just Bailed-Out your car. Yep. You Own that bitch. And granted, its losing value everyday and such and is the worst...it made no sense to be paying 13.5% on ANYTHING, and since the loan is in my name ANYWAY...here you go homie.


Ok.
So my xmas shopping list never existed, but I participated too. Booyah. now...what to get my Jew friend...hmmmm

Blooooog Carnivaaaal :)

From the good folks over at 20sb
And I dont really do lists.....except when i do lists...

- A wish list of 5 items, one for each sense (that's an item for sight, one for smell, etc.)

Um. Good carnival.

Sight- 20/20 vision. I hate having to only HALF see shit at times. Ugh....

Smell- Im not sure, maybe something subtle...like passion fruit juice?

Touch- heheh... I mean, I would like something soft, and silky...and wet.. hmmm....maybe a glove with lotion in it?

Hearing- I wonder if there is a soundtrack to life. every now and again M.I.A., Cassidy when I need some wit...or Styles P when im chillin.

Taste- hehe...

Vacation

I take a vacation every two months. And this month. IM DOING IT AGAIN!!!

Yay DC :)

Because I cant keep my shirt on....and other things

I feel like I am totally Ready for Miami next week!!!!!! O, and DC too...but its cold there, so it doesnt count.


There is a friend of mine who thinks and swears that I cant keep my shirt on...

That in itself is partially true, but at the same time...why should I?

These last few months (last month) I have been hitting the gym hard as hell. Its all about the results isnt it?

I think...I am on the cusp of being just right. Not too much, and not too little. Now its all about maintaining my gains from now on right? RIGHT :)


Weirdness at the office...and pretty much always:
I am straight. Str8. _____________ (like that line) I try to seduce women with reckless abandon (sometimes). Love hard. Play hard. etc....
So, Why Why WHY in the world does it seem like gay men like to try me. Yes, i cant help but be somewhat flattered...but at the same time NO. NO. NO. I do not want your penis. Personally, I was not a big fan of nuts after an ex told me this joke:

- What are nuts on your wall? - Wall Nuts
What are nuts on your chest?- Chest Nuts
What are nuts on your chin? - My dick in your mouth. >_< style="font-style: italic;">not sure. Like, are you hitting on me, or are you just being nice?
The scenario"
I see this guy a few months ago and we chat or something, then no more contact until a few weeks ago. Saw him at the gym in the locker room- awkward, but as you can see in the pic above, I dont mind being shirtless. Anyway, we chat a bit and im off to my work out. Fast forward a week, I see him on the bus and he invites me for a beer...at my place???wtf.
Ok, no problem, no alarm bells going off.
He comes up, we chat, drink a few yada yada...makes a comment about my attractiveness but I dont take real note of it till later.

Few days later its a nice day so he suggests a walk by the lake to get a glimpse of one of the other palaces.

Its a pretty dangerous road, but that is besides the point . We are walking and chatting and its normal and natural and hes talking about his experiences and im talking about mine and we are sharing (hehe, which I realize is the getting to know you part of things) and we get back, have lunch and part ways.

NOW, I start realizing that things are weird. Because at lunch I was telling a story about a time when I was camel -backing across the sahara dessert and how hot it was , and he used the opportunity to inject at how 'hot' I was ...... and um yea....very awkward.


Now, I feel like I have been avoiding him, and the other night, he sent a message asking if I wanted to catch some felini films (I watch foreign films) at my place (why my place wtf- so that I cant be like...uhhhh I got to go). This is getting weird.

Solution, Avoid avoid avoid. I mean, yes, he could be a cool guy that I get along with and blah blah blah. But at the same time....It make s me go hmmmmm. Because if I were to be "macking on a breezy" Id probably be doing the same damn thing. Movies, lunch, a dinner, drinks, developing a rapport about something obscure that we have in common (foreign films...Kurasawa).
Damn .
Its safe to say that when I got a text to go on a historical tour of the Palace (office building) I am grateful that Ive got other obligations (lunch) to attend.

It is kinda sad that I cant have a friendship and not think...why?
O yea I know why, because this guy is also like 40++ not married, and tends to hover around post-conflict countries.

Why O Why cant a beautiful cougar-tastic woman come up to me asking if I want to come over for dinner, watch movies, play wrestling, and 'chill'. Is that too much to ask for?

And im not saying I am a cougar hunter...not in the least. But I am saying that I am ok with the picking up dates at the old folks home...bow chica wow wow :D

Ok. No, I am not homophobic. Just respect my safe space :)

The Pink Slip

I had to fire someone today.
Its weird because I didnt get any of the warm fuzzies in my stomach. But I also dont feel bad about it...unless the warm fuzzies and feeling bad are the same thing. It had to be done. Simple.


And...I also had to check check check my fb.
I mean, I think it has grown to be too many people that I dont really interact with that pretty much know when Im pooing....so...Shrink.

Interestingly enough, I found a stalker!!!! She had friended many of my friends (whom I am always conversing w/ joking with etc) and can guestimate most of my musings. AHK>....I have to reign in that a bit. But yea, she knows many of my people (more than 3) from the many countries I travel too yet she herself has not left her home country...sooooo she is going into my friends list and hitting add.

Not cool. Get your own cool friends.

Have you ever had a stalker IRL or on FB or Myspace or wherever? Whats the best way to get rid of them?

Communication Breakdown

I just want to start off saying that last night I partied with the guys (and girls) in the picture. . . but without the guns.

Its been a trying week to say the least. The new boss is intensely trying to suck the joy out of my existence, but I shall continue to work through the grime and demands of the office space.

A few good things have happened in the last few days, one being that I have been approved for my super amazing around the world trip that will be payed for by the company!!! Yep. You really cant beat that. 3 different countries and 3 different states...can you say YIPPEEEE!!!

The only thing remaining before purchasing the tickets is seeing how much a business class upgrade will be. If I get the upgrade, I am TOTALLY bringing macbook w me....since they have the whole airplane connector thingie which I use whenever I fly business or first.

But at the same time that all of this good stuff is happening, I will have to peace out this blog in 09. I suppose its just because its a good time to peace out this blog for something a bit more....more? Maybe a vlog?
Besides, I feel like I have not been candid.
And based on a conversation I had this morning, its being held against me. So....this is a pre-warning??? Ill be moving soon.
DC, here I come!!!!

Slumdog Millionaire - I endorse it.

I had the opportunity to see the new film Slumdog Millionaire recently at one of the screenings here in the Bizzle.

I dont have much to say about this movie but WOW. Its on POINT.
I suggest you go and peep the film.


Its a great feel good film with different aspects of life in the Indian slums.
I dont have any authority on the issue...but hey, its real.

It invokes a less grimy City of God coming of age story about a kid from the slums who makes it to the final question of the "who wants to be a millionaire" show in India, and all this speculation regarding how he knows all of this, is he cheating? is he a genius? is it fake?

Without giving away too much info, this is a great film. Period. Go see it. And then thank me later.

My boyfriend told me he thought I was made for you

A few key things happened over the weekend which call for jumping and for joy, in that order maybe...

The letter inviting me to an interview FINALLY arrived. I mean, yes. Can you say pins and needles. Wooo hoo. This is the third out of four steps to get into this position, so having passed the first two, Im stoked. This is the hardest step, and the fourth is a breeze. But yes, wish me luck.

A letter arrived from her last night as well. She told me things that made me want to go back to where we were, but then I remembered how hard she pushed me away when we were there before. Its nice to be in a familiar place, but that place was wrought with turmoil...we love each other. But at the same time. How do we make it hurt less? Is that even intuitive?

A different letter arrived via (fb). It was from the only girl I asked to marry me. Yes, it was one of those things I blurt out from time to time. Such as 'can you grab me a coffee? Does it include taxes? Will you marry me...wtf??? ANYWAY
So she sends me a message indicating that she would like to know when I plan on traveling to that side of the world, and that...she "misses me". I have been told to be weary of these.
And I read into it..."Now that the holidays are upon us, and my sister and her bf are mushy gushy and having a good time. I feel lonely and you really were one of the only guys who didnt treat me like an asshole, and somehow I miss that...soooo would you like to fall into our old ways for the holiday season, and then well see what happens come valentines day...where even though we are both happy, I will always have my eye out for the next shiny new pursuit"... yeah, um- I think not. But, you can join me for tea or something.

A fourth letter arrived this morning from my friend who is 'dating' a married man, you know, the guy with 3 kids and a wife...
She said, and I quote "My boyfriend told me he thought I was made for you."
W T F??!!!?? REALLY?
How could she still call him her BF? I think when some foolishness like this is said, shouldn't it be the end of the relationship? I mean COME ON MAN. But then again, I need to nip this in the bud, there will be no US. There is YOU. And there is ME. Not a "you and me". Sorry. But I can not see myself with you in that way.

Yes, its great to receive mail. But can I please win the lottery?

A Ball you say!!!!

I'd been meaning to write all weekend long (Thurs-Sat is the weekend, plus we got Monday off too:D)- but I was occupied doing other things (sleeping, watching movies, sleeping, eating, and...uh...sleeping).

So here to kick off what has come to be (almost) my best week ever- the recap.

The Masquerade Ball (pictures to follow, whenever I get home today):
I didn't have a mask. But as soon as I got there, around 20 people didn't have masks on. Kind of disappointed that more people weren't DOING it, ya know...but as if by magic, the bf of a friend comes and gives me his. His head is kind of big so the mask has a crack in the latex, but hey, beggars cant be choosers, and besides, the mask added character to my costume.

Night goes on...its a dry party, but ANOTHER friend of mine who wore a kilt (wtf???) gave me some Jamison's whiskey (wtf!?!) from his flask (REALLY? Under your kilt dude?). Anyhow, it turned out that I was feeling good, and everyone else (mostly) was just kind of like..."meh, so you have a mask on...I STILL KNOW WHO YOU ARE!"
Highlight of the night had to be the girl with the kitty mask on that giggled when I told her that she was 'the prettiest pussy that ive seen in a while'.
Honestly didnt mean anything malicious about it, but she went with it and smiled. Thats a hell of an icebreaker, and I suggest using it ONLY at the appropriate time (read:never)

It was all going really well until one of the girls I was dancing with suddenly started bleeding on the dance floor 0_o! Turns out that when she removed her shoes:

(* Sidebar-
Dear Women- We (men, boys, women who love women) love when you wear your heals and pumps and all that good stuff when you go out. It looks...attractive, and yes, I hold it in high regard that you do so with me in mind. But come on, its all about endurance isnt it? What would YOU think if I took off MY shoes while we were out? I mean, really? At the least...if you ARE going to take off your shoes, make sure they are kept. If your feet are unsheathed looking like hobbit feet or worse, what does that say about your other covered areas? Im not saying...but Im just saying...*)

: a piece of glass sliced open her foot. It wasnt deep, but still enough to instantly bring me into concerned mode and while I helped her hobble to the marble filled bathroom (this bathroom is AMAZING, marble and pearl EVERYWHERE---I took pics), I saw the state of her feet. And turned off. Honestly. Really? Frodo...is that you?

Ok, the night was ok. Lots of fun. Hanging out with people w/o uniforms and guns was cool too. Turns out, that during best outfit part of the evening, the guy who won was the guy who DID NOT wear a shirt OR a mask. Just a jacket, jeans, shades, and tims...and lots of hunky man chest for the world to see. Yea, hes kinda my hero...tear...

Because its a Saturday night

Im listening to Pandora radio and jamming to a Clipse playlist....its nice.

Tonight is going to be a Masquerade Ball. Super fun right??? Wrong. I dont have a damn mask, and the date....well, she backed out.
Something about not getting her dresses in time...(shes in the military and wears some form of uniform day in day out...so this is a plausible excuse).

Its 3 hours until I go out there, and I am about to go to the gym and hype myself up that this evening will be fun. Because Ill be flirting with OTHER peoples dates instead of my own.

And since I dont have a mask, Im going to go like Zorro and cut up a T shirt or something...or a tie.

I might just miss this place

Seriously, this will have been one of the coolest office buildings that I have ever worked in. I mean, how many people can say that they have worked in a PALACE!!!!

I can :D

Ok. Happy Saturday yall.

And for good measure, I threw in a picture of a statue !!!

Dilema

Today has been stressful.

Why?
I have a new boss.
Not a big deal you say.

Yes, it is.
Because shes a walking fail.
simple.


But that isnt the dilemma.

The issue is this, im perplexed. A coworker friend of mine told me to head over to victorias secret to capitalize on the awesome sales that they have for the season. Not for me, as you were thinking, but for women friends.

Now, im in now way, shape, or form conservative. But...uh....can you say blush-face. I mean, I dont know, the idea seems like a win win, but then thats also the reason it can be a set up for failure.

I go, get 5 cute undies for her.
five things that can go wrong

1. I get the size wrong and shell think I think shes a fatty fatty 2x4
2. I get uncomfortable scratchy underwear, and everytime she puts it on, shell be cursing me from her love-locations, and then Ill be barred from even a casual outing.
3. she could take it the wrong way and think that I want to see her in said underwear...nope, im buying them to see what they look like on the floor...
4. She sees that I got them on sale, and now Im a cheap ass. (but seriously....)
5. She puts it under her tree and opens the gift in front of her family... AWK..

But I am sure all the positives outweigh the negatives. Right?

What are your thoughts on the idea? Are there better gifts to be giving?

I want to punch my computer in the face...

Today,
Is not going so well.

• -woke up late
• -missed the first shuttle
• -foggy, cold, misty out
• -my sweater isnt wearing right (you know, thought it would look one way...but isnt)
• -my computer is acting V E R Y slow. I swear. Im not even on the internets and it is acting like I am using dial-up....or even AOL dialup {sadface}

And to top all of it off, the workbook which has been tracking the money I manage has decided to revert to a 3 weeks ago state...so I am at a loss, playing from behind, have no updates, the computers speed is frustrating me more so I actually get less done.

I want to rant properly, but cant...I am actually just waiting for this damn file to START responding.
O glooom :\

Sometimes I dont miss it all

I wake up this morning to an im from a friend saying that her bf (married guy with three kids) texted her with one of those "we need to talk" messages.
She said shes worried about what he was going to say...
I didnt respond, it was 6 am my time.

I check my email and there is a youtube link to the Gnarles Barkley song "Going On" . At the end of the song it says- Dont Follow Me.


So. Knowing that this girl has attempted suicide in the past, I get alarmed and contact her.
Ill post the convo when I get home, but what she says is:

• her BF wanted to talk about me
• he was very serious about her
• he wants her to have his baby

4:05 PM Sunday, November 30, 2008

“Confused with Love”
i got a text message from “the Married Man”
it said call you soon. we need to talk
do you think it's something bad?
i'm so stressed

“Mr. Inconsistent”
good morning

“Confused with Love”
hahahaa
it's almost midnight here

“Mr. Inconsistent”
o


“Confused with Love”
but good morning to you!

“Mr. Inconsistent”
its 7 here
how r u ?

“Confused with Love”
ahhh...frustrated

“Mr. Inconsistent”
y?

“Confused with Love”
my stupid ass dipshit boyfriend

“Mr. Inconsistent”
what was it this time?

“Confused with Love”
lol
he wanted to talk about you

“Mr. Inconsistent”
oh these men

“Confused with Love”
heh
and he wants a baby with me

“Mr. Inconsistent”
so did you guys talk?

“Confused with Love”
briefly

“Mr. Inconsistent”
..
wait...this is ‘that married man’???
''

“Confused with Love”
a son to be exact
yes,(name) the married one

“Mr. Inconsistent”
a married father of 3

“Confused with Love”
yes

“Mr. Inconsistent”
o ok. just thought id get my facts straight lol.
but m curious. What did he say?

“Confused with Love”
i asked him what he wanted from me
like where are we going type of thing
and he said a son
and i was dumbfounded
i can tell your speechless too

“Mr. Inconsistent”
lol
speechless is putting it nicely

“Confused with Love”
lol
it's not going to happen
i'd have to be an idiot

“Mr. Inconsistent”
yep…
but lol. What did he say about me?

“Confused with Love”
he wanted to ask me questions about you and me
but then he backed out
cause he knows i slept with you in the past
and i apparently he thinks about it a lot
and actually gets images in his head of us having sex
who knows

“Mr. Inconsistent”
maybe he likes the idea?..

“Confused with Love”
lol
i doubt that
but who knows maybe
so how are you?

“Mr. Inconsistent”
im ok
getting ready for wrk.

“Mr. Inconsistent”
11:27
please dont discuss my career w ur bf
or locations
or trav plans
lol

“Confused with Love”
11:27
oo i don't

“Mr. Inconsistent”
11:28
he may b angry and jealous.
lol. and in america, HE is the 1 with a gun lol.

“Confused with Love”
11:28
lol
okay
don;t worry
i don't talk about you
i try to make an effort to divert the convo when he brings you up
always

“Mr. Inconsistent”11:29
ok ttys



Now wait...I had to clarify with her, this is the one who is married with 3 children and a wife he will not leave...and he WANTS to have a baby with YOU? This guy is so fucked up he makes her get an HIV test before fucking her, sooooo that tells me he probably doesnt use protection either.

And while im not the one to judge..REALLY? Like REALLY?
I got to be a good friend, but I also have to be a realist...REALLY?

No, dont ask about me, dont talk about me. NOTHING. I dont matter. Get help. Get out of there. WTH!!!

So, what is the best way to convince her that this guy is VERY not healthy for her (other than me sacrificing myself to take his place)