Complacency

Its final. I got my contract to extend for another year, and this document goes through Nov 09. Thats another 12 months!!! I honestly dont think I can do this. I told them, thank you but no thank you. I am not getting any younger, and this environment is so not healthy for my my head.

Coming back from this most recent trip has me missing a few things that I cant have here...life.

Its odd how prison makes its way into my life...

Every time I get my parole to a new country, I find myself missing the simplicities that I take for granted while there. In Cairo, I miss the peopled-ness of the city. There are so many people in that city, but it works. Its lawless lawfulness. Its a country where corruption and life mesh like its nothing. I used to want to move back there, but something seems to be happening. Under the surface things are bubbling, and I feel that soon enough it may become as bad as India is. (India recently became religiously intolerable in certain enclaves.)

Going to Beirut and seeing the pockmarks on the walls from the numerous fights that have broke out over there make me wonder if I could live there. I mean, certainly the country is beautiful enough and the people there are so friendly that I could also be very happy, but there is also this undercurrent of political tension which tends to erupt with disastrous results. Bombings happen often, and civilians are often killed. I dont want to be killed for just being....

Istanbul was tranquil and it was raining. I was in love with the country regardless of the rain. I loved how it rained. In Baghdad there is none of this rain that we talk about in the regular world. Mostly dust. It rained twice in the last 9 months. TWICE.....like...can you imagine that? It was such a beautiful day yet our windows dont open up:\

So, yes. What to do and where to go? Grad School? Abu Dhabi? Back to America? I am missing my friends dearly and being included in these email messages only go to show how much I miss by being away from the country. Ive made my money. Now, maybe its time that I get back and make my life...