The Blogs are

Eating all my time these days lol.
And its so great. Its like a great book that has all of these chapters and different actors, and its all creative non-fiction, which in itself is pretty damn amazing.

I would do the whole blog-roll link thing, but...not yet.

Im reading, and enjoying, and commenting, and laughing, and wondering...

But yea. So the hail storm yesterday knocked out power from the office so we have today off. And what am I going to be doing?
Applying to grad school, making travel plans, and reading blogs.
Simple.

O yeah, listening to Adele too.

Photoshop is the shit!!!!

The wrap up

Im just going to give up. This whole playboy thing doesnt suit me at all.

Tonight- couldnt do it. Didnt do it. she came over, we sat, watched a film, killed a bottle of wine, and chatted. It was honest to goodness great to have someone over and just able to shoot the shit with them. We talked about EVERYTHING. But alas, I rather engage her in conversation than in booty talk.
Dont get me wrong, I am patting myself on my back because I didnt try to do something aimed at getting her in a position where shed have some explaining to do when she got home. We saw a very nice film, one of my favorites- The Tiger and The Snow. Finished a bottle of Reisling together, ate a bag of pomegranete Jelly Bellies...talked some more about how young I was and how old she was (me 25, her 36). And enjoyed each others company.

Thinking about it, maybe it was because I dont think I necessarily miss the physical aspect of being with a woman, but the emotional aspect that comes with it. The small things. Watching a smile born in her eyes. Feeling her hair as my fingers brush past a few strands as im making my way to her back. Touching her hand softly while making my point. Whatever it is. I miss it.

But tonight it really was just borrowing that feeling. Because she will be going home in a week to her husband. And she will be able to go home and not be guilty about things she did out here. And well, I think ive picked up another friend.
Great. There really is no more room for all these damn friend ladders that Ive accumalated.

Shame on you Baghdad, you have stolen my mojo.

Im not sure what it is

Im not sure why, but today has been ultra lax. I mean, I woke up at 9am with the intention of actually doing SOMETHING, but here I am at 4:30 still in my room. Ive done the laundry, so really it was not really such a real problem about wasting time, but I feel.....lazy, or...down?

I am not sure.

I wonder if it has anything to do with the supplements that Im taking (creatine). Who knows, but its going on 5pm, im going to go work out. Head to dinner, then head to another dinner, and have someone over for wine and a movie, well see how that goes since she pretty much already told me that I could get it....but honestly, im pretty not interested in putting up too much of an effort.
Just want to watch lakeview terrace and then have some wine, and call it an evening.

Picture day

Just because I feel like remembering places.


Tensing Penh, Negril Jamaica. Its one of those places that doesnt need advertising and aims at not only exclusivity, but privacy...maybe its the same, but I disagree. You rarely see any of the other guests because everyone is content doing their own thing.



A condo in Boston. Where my Aunt designed. I think, i would want her to do my place...whenever i get it.



Working in the Palace, there is ALWAYS a meeting in progress somewhere.
I wonder, what does your office look like?

The Day After...

Or....waking up alone.

Thanksgiving is such a great lazy day. Family and/or friends. Turkey, ham if you swing that way, cranberry sauce, cranberries if you are all fancy, and the feeling of being together.

This year will mark my second Thanksgiving away from my family and close friends. Its really fine because we have an awesome group here with whom Ive become pretty solid but still...

Last night after the game, everyone stayed and started playing a huge game of poker. Which was cool. Except that I dont really play poker anymore. So after looking over a few hands I came back to my room around 7pm and proceeded to do nothing for the rest of the evening.

Pretty freaking sad.

But this morning, it dawned on me.
Im single. Technically I have been single for very good long while now. I want to say a few years now. Maybe even venture to say 3-4?
There have been times when I was literally on the cusp of ending the streak, but those negotiations faltered...
Waking up this morning with just me, my blanket, my five pillows, my morning wood, and my handy dandy book sitting on the nightstand (I should seriously keep that thing in the bathroom since thats the only place it gets read...), made me feel it so much more.
So yea, waking up alone is not where its at. But I suppose thats a sacrifice that goes along with living in such an isolated community in such a remote place around the world.

But then again, I like remote places around the world.

Update

Today has been extremely busy at work today, so what do I do?- Come on here to waste time.

My America trip is coming together quite nicely...well not really. I have yet to make tickets, finalize any kind of plans, choose ultimate destinations, or whatever...but I have a concept, and know that I want to touch down in DC and ATL, but beyond that, who knows.

Well, I do know one thing, the blast from the past that contacted me out of the blue is still on her old antics. I dont think I mentioned it, but even when we went out back then, she was doing so while stepping out on her sig other. I dont know, is it the excitement? They broke up for a period because she went out on a date with me. I called her the other night and guess what, she is about to do it to him TWICE!!!!

hehe, well, Karma is a bitch, but damn. I cant NOT go out with her :)
That would be rude.

Shot

Last year summer time before coming to the war zone a friend of mine was taking me to a family Bar B Que in S.W. D.C. Even though I lived in DC for a couple of months up to that point, I had never been to that side of town. Not that there is anything wrong with it, but if the train wasnt going there-neither was I.

On the way to the park there was a man in the street face down with blood running from his head. There was another man who was kneeling over him shouting for people to help him. Everyone seemed to be turning their heads. As the car continued to drive and my neck continued to look and as my fingers began to dial 911 and my shock turned into concern to let the proper authorities know what was happening, my friends told me not to worry, "Someone has already called".
How do you know?
Why wont they stop and let me see if I can help this person? Bad neighborhood or not, his fault or not, does he not deserve the same attention as if he were walking down M street?

Its sad. And no one got shot today that I know of. But there was a few explosions and bombs a few days ago. Not cool man, not cool.

Family

.....I think I said goodbye to my sister today.

She hung up the phone on me when I told her she had to get her life right.
I think that when she hung up on me, I ended our lifelong conversation.

So Im taking my own bad advice. And walking away.

Blast from the past

Facebook continues to link me up with these old heads.

A little while ago I get friended by the little sister of a girl I used to 'date' (really we held hands once) in the 7th or 8th grade.

The little sister asked if I was still interested in getting her older sisters contact information. I had inquired of the whereabouts of several of my old chums on the schools fb group.

I thought about it for a second....then made a mad dash to the pic folder with her sisters name on it and greedily looked through it....only to see that it was the wedding folder. And shes married.

But, also more than that...shes cheeks!!! Not fat, just chubby cheeks!!!! Awww.....

and the guy, well he looks like a tool, but I do recognize that i am hating. And it was a cute Indian wedding.

SO EVERYONE is getting married now. What am I waiting for? Oh, yea....a wife type figure. and the search continues. Actually. The search doesnt continue. Im done doing years of convincing to get it through to these women that im a good if not GREAT catch. No, im going to leave it all and start REALLY living.

Im 25, well traveled, open to trying different things, have enough saved to NOT work for a year or two and still live the high life, and I have a degree. What whaaat. Its ON!

Bad Advice

Like a fake Dr providing fake solutions to real problems, bad advice gives us the same feeling of doing something good for somebody while really it may actually hinder them.

A few of my female friends are in that part of the year where it is important to have someone around/or just want their significant other/potential other to do right. Just be good. Simple. But that is not the case.
More often than not the case becomes questions of fidelity, attention, attraction, bitchassness etc...

So, there is a friend of mine who started to 'date' a guy who was really cool and everything and things seemed like it was going all well. Then he was due to travel over the break and mentioned that he would see his x. My friend wanted to know where she stood, and how to ask that question.
- I told her to be upfront, ask the question, and if it wasnt the answer that she was looking for, to walk away.

Another friend of mine finds herself 'hanging out' with a guy who turns out to have a real gf back at home. But it never came up in conversation (wtf) and now she feels bad to have done those things with him, but still they hang out...
-I told her its a fucked up situation, and I dont judge, but walk away.

ANOTHER friend of mine finds herself in one of the most interesting men dilemmas ever. She is 'dating' (she calls him bf) a guy who is married with 3 kids. He will not get a divorce from the wife who he is supposedly separated from. And to top that off, he is a cop in a college town....great success buddy. She is also living with her dad (not an issue) but is under Brittany Spears situations- the dad controls all expenses, finances, social life, etc... Shes in love with a guy who will/can never love her (another guy).
- I told her to evaluate her life. Get out of the fucked up situation, stop loving other people and love herself...and walk away.

One of my closest friends ever is also seeing a married man. And the worst part is that the wife is apart of her group of friends. What does that mean? The wife doesnt know but thinks everything is cool, this one has the most damaging consequences because its the closest to home.
-I told her to wake up and walk away.

~~~
OK, so you see. My medication to the friends that come to me for my perspective is pretty consistent (great pr) but the message. Walk AWAY. Kind of harsh no? But then its always situational isnt it?

My bf left the toilet seat up - Walk away.
My gf wont cook ...EVER- leave her, walk away.
My wife is terminally ill- walk away... no no, this one no. But still....you know...

Thinking about it, maybe thats not the best way. To just throw hands up in the air and say f it all. Maybe in these situations yes, but hmm...am I setting my friends up for hurt and heartache.

Lord knows that if people heard about my situation from women, id be getting the same recommendation - Girrrrrrl, leave his ass. RIGHT NOW :D

(photo courtesy of Flikr)

New Goals

Setting goals for life is an important part of making things happen. Something about visualizing...?

Being the dreamer that I am, my next life goal is to be able to afford this little gem:

Emirates Palace "lavish" Million Dollar Package

The stunning grandeur of one of the most expensive hotels ever built demands ultra-luxury offerings for its guests, including unrivalled facilities and incredible tailor made designer packages. The Emirates Palace, Abu Dhabi, exceeds all expectations with its latest…a fantastic once in a lifetime all-out package with a hefty value of 1,000,000 US Dollars !

This package incarnates pure opulence and includes the following for 2 guests:

• First class return trip from any international destination serviced by Etihad Airlines to Abu Dhabi
• Seven night stay in a 680 sqm Palace Suite at Emirates Palace on an all-inclusive basis.
• Chauffeur driven Maybach at your disposal daily during your stay in Abu Dhabi
• Daily spa treatment in the Anantara Spa
• Day trip in private jet to Iran to create your own Persian carpet from the most exclusive and well-renowned hand-maker
• Day trip in private jet to the Dead Sea Jordan to experience the famous sea and an afternoon Anantara spa treatment in the Kempinski Hotel Ishtar
• Day trip to Bahrain in private jet for a pearl deep sea experience. Your pearl will then be hand designed with jewelery settings
• Royal Golf experience at Abu Dhabi Golf Club
• Make your own perfume with experts from YAS Perfume
• Deep sea fishing trip
• Gifts including champagne sunset and desert island tour.
• Gifts including the rarest pearls in the world from Robert Wang and a selection from Holland & Holland Sporting Guns

~~~~~~~~

Ok, so now that I know how to blow a mil in a week. Ill just start working, investing, opening shell companies, defrauding, creating, selling...whatever in order to be able to leisurely afford to drop a milli in a week.

And the kicker is that I believe that it will be nothing to the person who wants this ultimate customized vacation. It does sound pretty lavish, even by my standards. And from our friends at flickr, here are pictures of the hotel.





























































To an extent I have no idea at this level of luxury, but then again to an extent I do.
Traveling the Middle Easy (East) clues me in to how the other half lives, but DAMN. A MILLION FOR A WEEK. OO WEEEE.

For that to even be worth it, Id have to be a super lazy billionaire.

Guitar Hero Groupie

Parties rule our weekends here. Alcohol, older people, no spouses (or few spouses), and lots of hormones make this place seem like a college campus all over again.

Case in point, last nights party. After an intense workout I get calls and text spam about joining a friend at a party. No problem, I get into the car, drive past our security, drive around the bunkers...wait for a convoy....drive past their security, and wham I'm at the party. . .

I see people I know, but no one I really want to spend the night chatting too, and since Ive been here before, I know where to go- the Guitar Hero room!. Gimme some water for hydration and the sticks and im good. Party going on in the background, no problem.

So as my random band is playing a particularly hard song (Toxicity on Medium), then the groupies come. A smattering of older (think older than cougar) women come around. They are drunk, old, and frisky. One in particular starts to grind on the singer, then moves away from him and starts whispering in my ear about HOW im playing. WTF im @ like 92% percent, and here you go talking in my ear!
She then starts to gyrate to my right to the music. I swear its as if she was at a concert. An old, old, old, concert.
To each their own.

They roll in packs, the molest young men, they take names and kick ass...Ill see if i have a picture in my files to demonstrate the Groupie Grandmas.

Facebook makes me smile at times

Like this morning.

Waking up and seeing not one, but TWO friend requests. WOOO HOO, since pretty much everyone is already a friend...who could it be?

It was HER. O M G. This girl...ooooo weeeeeee.
In the past. there have been some friending surprises, like my one X who was completely invisible regardless how many times I changed the spelling of her name or saw her tagged in mutual friends pictures...all of a sudden, she friends me...but her last name is different, and Oh My, is that ... a husband? Yea, that was cool.not really...but you catch my drift.

So back to this morning. Yes, THIS GIRL. MMMM.....it had/has been at least 4 years since hearing from her last, if not more....maybe 4-6. A LONG time even by my standards. Again, she is one of those that I have looked for with varying modifications of her name, but nope. No luck.
This morning, there she is for friending. And here it is...shes not even fat!!! I mean, she wasn't fat back in the day, she was actually VERY slim, and extremely sexy. But when I was a freshman, she was a senior or junior, dating some loser skater boy (maybe he wasn't a loser, but thats what she used to justify getting with me at the time), and still slim. So yea,not fat. Why is this surprising? Because so many of those kind of people who disappear for a few years and then come back around generally come back with a few "ive been sitting down watching TLC and Lifetime" pounds.
I wonder where she is, because I must say, whenever we went out, it was pretty...passionate, intense, fun, and oh so sexy.

Ill invite her out with us when I get back to the states.

Speaking of which, I kind of have to wonder, how many other women from my past are blocking me out of their collectives? Actually, maybe i dont want to know. Lord knows I have an interesting history when it comes to all the affairs of the heart.

What can I do?

How much more can you give of yourself when all of you is never enough?

Fuck ass djs

Fuck ass djs

Really dj guy.... Really?....
Honestly. Going to a party where people are on control of the music
and not a designated dj...that sucks. I mean honestly nobody wants to
gear that random ass obscure shit that you love to listen to alone.

And to the woman who told me that if she was not married that I could
get it.... I don't need to hear that shit.

And to the other woman who told me that her bf would get mad if he saw
us dancing like this. Fuck you and fuck him. You are in control of
your own destiny.

Pretty much. I need a new scene.

Sent from my iPod

Is it wrong of me

To ask the guy talking to me to use better dental hygiene...more frequently?

Complacency

Its final. I got my contract to extend for another year, and this document goes through Nov 09. Thats another 12 months!!! I honestly dont think I can do this. I told them, thank you but no thank you. I am not getting any younger, and this environment is so not healthy for my my head.

Coming back from this most recent trip has me missing a few things that I cant have here...life.

Its odd how prison makes its way into my life...

Every time I get my parole to a new country, I find myself missing the simplicities that I take for granted while there. In Cairo, I miss the peopled-ness of the city. There are so many people in that city, but it works. Its lawless lawfulness. Its a country where corruption and life mesh like its nothing. I used to want to move back there, but something seems to be happening. Under the surface things are bubbling, and I feel that soon enough it may become as bad as India is. (India recently became religiously intolerable in certain enclaves.)

Going to Beirut and seeing the pockmarks on the walls from the numerous fights that have broke out over there make me wonder if I could live there. I mean, certainly the country is beautiful enough and the people there are so friendly that I could also be very happy, but there is also this undercurrent of political tension which tends to erupt with disastrous results. Bombings happen often, and civilians are often killed. I dont want to be killed for just being....

Istanbul was tranquil and it was raining. I was in love with the country regardless of the rain. I loved how it rained. In Baghdad there is none of this rain that we talk about in the regular world. Mostly dust. It rained twice in the last 9 months. TWICE.....like...can you imagine that? It was such a beautiful day yet our windows dont open up:\

So, yes. What to do and where to go? Grad School? Abu Dhabi? Back to America? I am missing my friends dearly and being included in these email messages only go to show how much I miss by being away from the country. Ive made my money. Now, maybe its time that I get back and make my life...

Isnt it Ironic

I wonder how short our financial memory. I remember a few years ago how staunchly opposed America was to having an Arab company own a few ports in America, and how there was all this fear mongering and such. The financial sector didnt say anything but let the fear breathe.

Fast forward to today.
The financial world is in a turmoil and the same countries staunchly opposed to the sovereign wealth funds investing in the western economies are currently begging for these same countries to invest in the global market. REALLY!!!!?

Hehe, its really ironic and if the world wasnt so damn interconnected, I would suggest a massive bird.

Back to the real world

Back to the real world

So. My lavish trip is over. Conclusion... It would have been better if
I went with someone.

On another note. I am in Jordan and just saw a "biggly wiggly" so
awesome.

Sent from my iPod

The cost of being black abroad.

The cost of being black abroad.

So I almost missed my plane because the guy at immigration was having
a hard time accepting my arabic name, black skin, and immaculate
diction. I must me from Sudan somalia Yemen or something like that.
There is no wayyyy that I am purely american. I was about to ask about
the president elect... But he would have proved their point.

Sent from my iPod

Thou shall not.....

Thou shall not.....

Too many times on this trip I find that I am trying to look and covet
anothers wife or girl or mother or something equally not healthy. And
Last night at pascha was no digferent. there were lots of interesting
types ....actually there weren't, the same clubbers that I see
regardless of the location. Last night was the same with one added
twist, prostitutes. And it really isn't fair. I can hardly tell the
working girls from the not working ones... Ok that's a lie, the
working ones looked smoking and dresses to the nines , often dancing a
bit too hard , and would give very flirtatious looks to those living
lavishly.

One girl was standing next to the bar with this guy. She was dancing
for him and as I came around, she moved off of him and started
gyrating right in front of me. So what am I supposed to do ? Part of
me is like woo hoo , this cute russian looking girl is dancing for me.
Then the other half keeps playing back the warnings from the
guidebooks about the natashas that frequent the night spots with the
pimps never far behind. And though I don't know much. I so know how
rare it is for these things to happen. So I just kinda look away.
Although I want to look. Then I think to myself , looking is free. So
I look. It's awesome. I took into all the details from the sequins in
the dress to the intricate french manicure. Her handler, because ul
call him that, is watching me watching her and reports this to her
which results in her dancing harder. After a few sings it starts to
feel creepy , so I take my drink and walk away.
I feel a tap on my shoulder a few secs later and it's the pimp. Asking
me for a tip for the dance. I laugh. Pat him on the back and say well
done.
And walk away with a chuckle.
Sharm ...

Sent from my iPod

Expensive cheap hotels.

Expensive cheap hotels.

I get to my hotel at 8am and am tired and grumpy and a lil hungover.
To top it, there was a chill in Cairo and a heat in sharm, so I was
overdressed and hot. Now. I'm at the hotel hungry and the room
wouldn't be ready for another 30-40 minutes. The super quick feint
desk guy is like you can go sit over there until the room is ready,
but I suggest that I sit in the restaurant and have breakfast while I
wait. This being Egypt and them not knowing or understandin the
concept of concessions that was a total no go. Since I had a few mind
to kill and a grumpy mood to stoke I asked him who could give me a
better answer than no. He said the manager. I asked him to be called.
Then I asked the same guy where was his nametag and why wasn't it on.
I think that this really caugh him by surprise and I even surprised
myself with that level of being an ass.
As the manager comes and attempts to explain that my breakfast
priveledge starts tomorrow morning. I look him square in the eye and
say "so your telling me , and I want you to be clear, that you , the
hyatt brand, would rather lose me as a customer, because as you can
see I stay at your hotels often hence my platinum status , over some
breakfast? "

He looked at me and said "yes". Wow.
I think if I had not already paid for the room I would have took my
business and left right then and there. I suppose there was also a
lost in translation moment, but that's ok, I'll ensure the reviews I
write in trip advisor, lonely planet, expedia, hotels.com , orbits,
kayak, Thomas cook and others will be in the clearest language ever ....

Sent from my iPod

So far. Lavish.

So far. Lavish.

Not only did I meet a royal from bahrian. But an official invite to
stay at his house ( read palace) for new years... Wow.

Hmmm.....

So far. This is one hell of an interesting trip.
It's 6 am. I'm at an airport ready to go to the vacation portion of my
vacation. Sharm al sheikh.

Sent from my iPod