The Officeness of it all.

Now that I am back to my post and to some sense of normalcy, it’s high time that all that’s happened is placed on the table. The trip to America was so enlightening and enjoyable and horrible and exciting and sexy and expensive and cheap and all of that good stuff that if for anything, I need to have a mental picture.

The easiest way would probably do things by city…but that’s lame. I’m just going to let it out.
More than anything, this trip was the determining factor of ‘can I come back?’. It is weird, but I have been thinking about it for the longest time. Like my self imposed exile off the island finally allowed me to come to sense with who I am and what I want to do and maybe it really is ok to NOT be the adventurer and ‘that guy’ all the time. Perhaps it is something that other 20somethings think about often, but meh…who knows. As soon as I got off the plane in DC and rode the bus (yeah, I could have taken a hired car, but the bus allowed me to SEE people) I knew that I would enjoy it. Supposedly there is a recession going on, but did I see one? No, not really.
Work was work, pretty bleh, but there was a cute new girl in the DC office that I got a chance to flirt with quite a bit.

Old flames… this trip would be peppered by old flames. Some of them genuine, some of them nostalgic for what could have been, or what was on the table, and some just downright wanted to make it miserable for anyone else. Thankfully the latter only had a brief phone call and nothing more.

Old flames tend to be dangerous. Because at one point all of the good feelings that we had for them tend to resurface, but then so do the bad. Why didn’t it work out? {Oh…so NOOOOOW you can see me while you have a bf, but before you couldn't ??? }
Old flames also tend to be so much fun…enough said about that.

There were also new flames, and ugh, its so sad that all I wanted to do was flirt with the most beautiful girl in the room…in every room. I did not get any new numbers, but I totally chatted up lots of fun and single girls. DWP would marvel at how much shit I could talk to new girls and have them still smiling with me. I even got a girl to buy my brother and I a drink at a bar, and when she was like…shouldn’t you be doing this?. I convinced her that it was a great idea that she did it because ‘CHANGE’ was upon us.

I feel kind of sad though. A friend of mine is having a hard time dating despite the fact that she is BEAUTIFUL and Intelligent. Maybe guys are timid, but then again, a lot of the guys that she meets seem to have deeper issues (like girlfriends, or unhealthy addictions-heroin/gambling). Shes great, and I think at one time, she was the apple in my eye, but then time and effort and focus shifted and when little things started to become larger things between us…well, it was better to be the friend with her than be THE friend with her.
Distance is hard. The distance is the hardest part of being away. Long distance is fine to point, but when that is all that there is…well, wow. On one hand absence makes the heart grow fonder, but on the other, it strains the heart past the breaking point on so many occasions, a little misunderstanding can become so big if things go unchecked. I am a victim of it just like many people that I know. The awful truth of it all lies in the fact that I need a bit more than just a smiley face to be ok about a situation…I'm 25,I really need to have that booty talk when the need arises.

Wait…America.

Going to DC was great because I was in great company and have amazing friends in that city. Easily one of the ones I can go back to and be content.
Going to Atlanta…was intense. I kind of always dread that city because of the memories of the place, but then I kind of love going because of those same memories. HS wasn’t that much of a yippee, and college wasn’t either. Living in the city was great at times, but then at the same time I was horrible at going out and socializing because I felt that ATL was too dangerous at times. It really is where you go. And now that I know where is where and my friends are knowledgeable about the spots (And the awesomeness of the IPhone and IPod touch and its handy dandy apps) I can choose the cool places in a matter of seconds.

In Atlanta. There was a lot of people that I didn’t get to see. Like the girl who I went out with a 6 years ago on the date where she was kinda stepping out on her BF… and then there were the people that I got to see but didn’t spend enough time with (like my mom- who has become so damn awesome while getting her PhD)…and those who I wish I could have had more time with…(again my mom, but others as well). I had to tell someone that my heart wasn’t in it anymore…I think that is another post, but goes back down to the whole distance thing…and another told me that loved me and has for the past 5 year (that thing about old flings). I don’t think my heart could take the daily ups and downs of that trip, but I survived.

At 25. I love way too hard. I fall way too far. And rebound way too short. I invite people in without walls, and let them out without looking back. Maybe I’m fickle. But then again, I am only human. I want to be loved just for being me, but then I don’t want to be loved for pity’s sake (I doubt this has happened).

There was a put up or shut up moment in the trip when I was in Dubai and a couple pretty much invited me to share the night with them…

Hehe, I love the travel life, and the single life is cool too. But I think it is coming to a close. Honestly. After this last one, I think I’m going to become a hermit from here on out.