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OK,
So maybe this year is a year of superlatives. I got the best txt message ever, will be taking an exam that could change my life (in another month, will be posting on this later), have made it to the Golden City of Dubai...and now, THIS.
Last night right before tucking into bed I got a 'hello' from a friend of mine. To say friend is really to make light of what we were...but then that sounds like it is too heavy.
Pretty much, she was a cutie interning where I was temping in DC. We went on a few dates, watched a film or two, did the adult dance a few times, and then I left. . . and it was a weird place for us because we were only beginning to understand how to talk with each other and then the communication changed...I left. (reoccurring theme in my life...left the country, not left the relationship).
Fast forward a couple of years (19 months) and I'm talking to her last night. I to DC foften, and I was thinking it would be nice to see her in the evenings that I was not working. She agreed. But then I asked her to define what we were. Because you know...things change.
That's a hard thing to have someone pose to you, but she handled it with grace and said
"If you are looking for something long term, I am not necessarily sure that is what I want right now, however...if you are looking at having a good time whenever we are in the same city [and I'm single and you're single... I am totally OK with that."..."I guess you could call me your, um...Mistress???"
We wrangled over nomenclature for a while, and laughed it out. We are friends. And at the end of the day, that is important to me.
Personally, when I think about it...I am OK with this. I mean, recognizing and being OK with not being physically and emotionally available in different parts of the world is healthy.
And im not saying it is how things will play out, because situations change all the time.
Your thoughts? Experiences?
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6 comments:
I don't see how this is any different from what you've already been doing.
heh.
Planning to hook up but strictly remaining friends is like communism: looks good on paper, doesn't really work in practice.
Normally, or from my experience, the girl is the one who gets wrapped up emotionally.
Most of the time things get awkward and everyone is like, "ahhh, that was a bad idea..."
Good luck though! ;)
In light of our blog's recent conversation on distance, I think both of you are starting off on the right foot with open communication, and knowing that distance makes everything more unknown (less known? grammar police, where are ya?). So just keep communication open, and you'll both be alright and hopefully have some fun in the process!
I think this may be exactly a 180 (140?) from what I have been doing.
When you think about it, the situation is honest and frank.
It isnt saying "when you are in my city, the kitchen is open", it is more like saying..."we go good together and I look forward to spending time with you when we are around each other"...interpretations are open.
The last time she and I were together it was nice being in close proximity with someone familiar. We did not have to pussyfoot around sensitive issues because we are candid with each other.
Maybe it is a bit like communism...but why cant it be more like socialism? :D
"If you are looking for something long term, I am not necessarily sure that is what I want right now, however...if you are looking at having a good time whenever we are in the same city, I am totally OK with that."..."I guess you could call me your, um...Mistress???"
That sounds more like "when you are in my city, the kitchen is open" rather than "we go good together and I look forward to spending time with you when we are around each other."
Actually, the "we go good together..." sentence just sounds like a nicer way of saying "when you are in my city, the kitchen is open." I mean it's not like she's the only one.
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