What happened?

Suddenly the tables are turned.
It is no longer she looking for my approval and attention, but its the other way around. I am increasingly looking at that thread which is rapidly dissolving into barely a strand making up the whole. Inevitable? Maybe.
Self defeating prophecy?....probably.

My inability to maintain a real relationship because of my equal inability to stay in one damn country/city/ locale...well, maybe except for Baghdad. Baghdad seems to be the one place that I can stay put, but I honestly feel like it is a complacency that has developed and not this great desire to do a good job. I mean, that is also there in a sense...I do like controlling this money, but ....its just so easy to NOT move. Its so easy to be a drone bee. Im becoming what I did not want to become. Complacent.

Its the near end of October, and I have not applied or even seriously contacted any graduate schools. Nothing. I met a security type guy today, and he was talking about his friends in intelligence all over the world and the languages that he spoke, and I felt ignorant because Im only at 3 languages :(. So now I am lazy and stupid.

Ok. Im done with the Pity Party. Right now, Im changing things around.
Step one is to buy my tickets for my next vacation, which is in a few days.
I need an apt title for it.

Past titles to trips:
sexiest trip ever
most random trip ever
cheapest trip ever









I got it,
~Lavish~
Although that does sound kind of gay, I believe it will pretty much sum up this trip. My most lavish trip ever. HEHE. I got this !









And in addition, if this is going to be a lavish trip, then the gloves have to come off....Hot women embargo week is effectively over once I board that airplane.
No More of this....
























Its just got to be that way....



What you want me to do? Im Sorry!