Cairo

Cairo

on the way back to my lavish hotel. May go to a party tonight
depending on if I meet the right group tonight.

My dinner friends were so awesome. Great food and great lighthearted
conversation. Then at the coffee house and the discussion that started
with a question of political choice and womens rights and political
systems a be after moving to the bar discussing dictatorships and
monarchies and all that. It was soo good to differ in opinions and
talk about it.

Last night was great and even though I couldn't not get into the
embassy because it was packed

Side note. Love lockdown is on the radio right now. I'm in a cab in
Cairo Egypt right now btw.

Ok. So we went to an awseome bung of parties afterwards. I like this
country. But still ... Beirut.

Tomorrow I will meet a friend of a friend. I'm curious as to what will
come from this, since I pretty much went all in w/ c.
I really like my Cairo friends. Goooooo bama!!!!!

Sent from my iPod

I'm such a newb

I'm such a newb

Why did I just pay 300le ($60ish) for a damn wig? Wow this party
better be worth it. Actually , it is already snapping up to be a
promising night.

Less than 5 hours in country and already see that tonight is going to
be a grand old session in managing different groups of people.

Sent from my iPod

I met another one

I met another one

On my way to the airport I met an interesting character that proves
again... We are all only human.

To catch my plane to cairo I had to leave one airport and head
directly to another. This other airport was far to me. I have no
reference to distance, so I offered a few cabbies what I thought was a
fair price. The first cab agreed but then said he was going to drop me
at a shuttle a few miles away from the airport.... Ummmm no .

The second cab agreed to take me for the price offered, but also
turned on the meter.
We chatted. Laughed. Talked about life. He showed me pics of his kids.
Asked what was wrong with me that I did bit have a family of my own.
We talks economics and aspirations. We even talked about religion. I
mean this guy was grilling the he'll out if me and then some. I was
answering truthfully until he asked me about how much I make a year.
Normallybi am happy to share my compensation amount , but this time it
diane seem right.
A second before the question I as asking him about where he goes on
vacation and he said that he couldn't afford to.

As we get to the airport. I look at the meter. 7jd. My dumb ass had
been making offers of 25jd. I was wonderin if he was going to give me
a break since we basically were family now. But nope. He took the
money like it was not even a thought and bid me along my way.

On all fairness I am the one who offered the amount of roughly 35 for
the ride which actually cost 15. But come on man.... I well this IS
supposed to be the LAVISH trip.

Sent from my iPod

The dark side of Baghdad coffee

The dark side of Baghdad coffee

Tonight was the first time in a long time that I was able to see my
friend Tina since she moved to another base away from the
international zone. We are having a great time and are joined by our
friend cam.

Halfway through the evening I decide to try the spiced chai from the
coffee shop... Not a big problem. Until an hour later.
After dinner , and I should have known that this as going to happen,
the coffee drink has my stomach tightening up. Basically it was
telling me that something big was about to happen. Sure enough... The
tightening of the abs were leading somewhere I was not prepped to go ,
but it was either the porta john or my pant leg...

Wow. I think I got definition in another section of my abs, and lost
like 2 lbs. Good thing for me is that Tina is a dr . And she didn't
make me feel bad for being away for so long taking one of the most
satisfying poos ever.

Actually I think she was inclining to do the same thing.

Ok. Halloween tomorrow night. Go coffee , I don't think my chip and
dale outfit will be able to handle it.

Sent from my iPod

Last Year

I wrote this last year. People ask about the security surge here and if it makes a difference.
I used to track a metric about attacks on people...the curve and trend were definitely downward. People here no longer have to ask if their children will return home from school, and can now be concerned with if the power will stay on long enough to watch Oprah.

Are things working?

Below, One year ago.


7 am snooze
:15,:30,:45,8,:15...snooze.
8:17, groggy eyes open, walk outside to allow the crisp desert air shock me to alertness. 8:18 Stretch, yawn.
8:19. the bomb went off.
And my heart is racing. Indeed, I should have snoozed to 8:30 because I know I can sleep through the explosions, however, If I am lucid, they irk the hell out of me.

So I find myself sleeping more, thinking naught but of the last thoughts before I close my eyes.
-my family
-my her
-my outfit for the next morning
-what if there is no next morning.

Some mornings there are no explosions, no rockets, no bombs, nothing. And others.....well, It is still a warzone.sooooo yeah. I signed up for this.

Your aura is offending my bubble

I hate being talked down to.

Actually, I dont mind being talked down to, but I hate being dismissed.

Scenario:
Im in the office, and someone brings something up. I engage them in conversation, and then they just start ignoring me. LIKE REALLY?
Why did you bring it up? Why are you talking to me in the first place. Actually...get out of my office. Its too early to be so ....ugh.

Also, please stop bitching in my office. Please Please Please. We all work in a tight environment, but to bitch constantly about everything....and everyone....and all the processes....EVERYTHING. COME ON MAN. ugh.

Indecision

I dont know what it is about this time of the year, but indecision is at a height.

Looking back to one year ago this time. We were getting rocket showers, my how far we have come.

Looking back two years ago this time. I was wondering when my internship would come through. Working at a hotel parking cars, and looking at the nice cars and wondering and dreaming when it would be MINE.

Beirut.

Driving through downtown Beirut I saw buildings with pockmarks on the
wall.
At the time I thought it was because the buildings were old, but it
is because the the bullet marks were not repaired from whenever the
last conflict took place.

I really wish that I could live on lebanon. Like. Seriously that
place has it going on. I wonder what India will be like. I know that
it is a different kind of experience.

Here is to you Lebanon. I love you.

Sent from my iPod

What happened?

Suddenly the tables are turned.
It is no longer she looking for my approval and attention, but its the other way around. I am increasingly looking at that thread which is rapidly dissolving into barely a strand making up the whole. Inevitable? Maybe.
Self defeating prophecy?....probably.

My inability to maintain a real relationship because of my equal inability to stay in one damn country/city/ locale...well, maybe except for Baghdad. Baghdad seems to be the one place that I can stay put, but I honestly feel like it is a complacency that has developed and not this great desire to do a good job. I mean, that is also there in a sense...I do like controlling this money, but ....its just so easy to NOT move. Its so easy to be a drone bee. Im becoming what I did not want to become. Complacent.

Its the near end of October, and I have not applied or even seriously contacted any graduate schools. Nothing. I met a security type guy today, and he was talking about his friends in intelligence all over the world and the languages that he spoke, and I felt ignorant because Im only at 3 languages :(. So now I am lazy and stupid.

Ok. Im done with the Pity Party. Right now, Im changing things around.
Step one is to buy my tickets for my next vacation, which is in a few days.
I need an apt title for it.

Past titles to trips:
sexiest trip ever
most random trip ever
cheapest trip ever









I got it,
~Lavish~
Although that does sound kind of gay, I believe it will pretty much sum up this trip. My most lavish trip ever. HEHE. I got this !









And in addition, if this is going to be a lavish trip, then the gloves have to come off....Hot women embargo week is effectively over once I board that airplane.
No More of this....
























Its just got to be that way....



What you want me to do? Im Sorry!

Black Planet

Or...BP as its affectionately called by those of us in the know.

A friend of mine was chatting this one girl up and upon asking for her facebook info (why not just get a number), she tells him that she does not have a facebook (nothing wrong with this), but then proceeds to tell him that she does have a black planet account though?
I mean, really??? But who am I to criticize. The fact that she has one means that there is still a few people who havent jumped ship to the more efficient and globally inclusive web2.0, or they are just hardcore exclusive types who want to "keep it real" at all times in all things.
He also mentioned that shes a hippy type, and we all know what these hippie types are like.

BUT I digress.
Once, while out, I too chatted up a girl, and upon the departure, inquired about her number...She gave me a pager number, and then looked at me with unsure eyes as I looked at her with questioning eyes.
Then I spoke.
"Are you a doctor?" I asked with excitedment.
"No....why?" She responded.
"Um...drug-dealer?"
"seriously, do I look like a pusher?" she retorted
"What the hell you giving me a pager number for..no no, WHY do you even HAVE one of these things?"

She yanked the number out of my hand, claimed that her phone was off or some shit, and stalked off. Um...I wonder if that is what getting someones black planet would have been like. The kicker.... shes an Indian girl!!!

hehe, sometimes..you just dont know. But how come BP brings back memories of really really really bad dates?

Oprah. The big Give

So.....I turn the TV on, and there it is...Oprah's Big Give....sooooo there are the TV producers who drive around and have a goal to find the saddest stories. People to help. So like, its a competition to find sad and distressed people in America and display them.

Spoiler Alert: I will hate on Oprah..

OK. So like...really?

I cant even write about this. After working 12 hours and briefly turning on the boob tube as I change into my evening reading clothes...I have fallen out of awe with the Oprah woman.

Thats kind of sad, but whatever.
I lost my motivation behind this post. Because shes making money off of others misfortune...in the guise of helping them :(

Shame on you. Wag of my finger.

Pop culture stuff.

She said, Put a Ring On It.

So....if I like the song then put a ring(tone) on it :). Marketing on so many levels.
And then I look at a video with Ne Yo and the ...NKOTB? Werent they doing ... I dont know...their own lives?
I mean, kids, wives, 401ks and such. But then they come out like "hey, if Jay can do it at 40, so can we!"
And here we have it. NKOTB and Ne Yo...kinda ironic, but I like it. Im glad to hear Polo da Don on the beat and not wrapping about throwing some Ds. on that bitch.

Why is the put a ring on it song just keep on playing? Maybe I should put a ring on it?

The idea of home

I met a girl on one of my flights. She told me she cries when she sees the tips of the white capped mountains and the crystal blue of the beautiful waters of her home. Lebanon.

Ever since that conversation Ive been wondering two things. Will she ever email me like she said she would, and more seriously, I wonder what it feels like to be that connected to an idea of Home.

Having lived in so many places in across my life, there is no single idea of what home is. How can I define home? Is it the home of my parents? Is it the place of my birth? I recognize with neither that well, but then again I dont want to deny either.

And neither accepts me 100% .

So does that technically make me homeless?

It is in a way surreal. I am at one of sadams old palaces listening to someone attempt kareoke.

It is in a way surreal. I am at one of sadams old palaces listening to
someone attempt kareoke.
This is escapivism in it's finest iteration of sorts. This guy
doesn't even know his song, but somehow this does not matter. What
matters right now is that he is a coast guard of chimpanzees or
something of that sort.

I suppose I should get up there and sing my sad country song at the
top of my voice. I mean anything is possible in this strange country
of wonder and oil.

But someone is already doing that song.
It's time for me to catch my bus.

Sent from my iPod

Can't get away with from it.

Even in baghdad in this remote part of the world, the misconceptions
of the us are perpetuated.
I am in this market going about my shopping and this guy is asking me
where such and such is.
My natural response to him was " good question. But I don't work here. "

I mean. I'm dressed to the nines, look professional, and have a blue
badge... Really ?

After responding on such a witty manner, I pointed him in the right
direction with a smile. Who said customer service was lacking over
here , regardless of if I was his working or nice. Good thing we are
just ordinary people.

Ugh. And it continues.

Sent from my iPod

It must be the air

Across the world, tonight seems to breed heavy hearts.

We still may be waiting for the first bite of a late autumn chill to shake us into normalcy again. But somehow, I dont think that will cure the collective feeling of being down and out.

But, we all have our reasons.

The idea of it all...

Tonight was a pretty interesting night, although it kind of happened in slowwww mooootion.


After working 12 hours, finally able to pull away from the office, I started to look forward to the evening.
First to arrive at my spot was the super cute and super married little one. She is like a lil fairy whenever she is around. We get along so well, but still I refrain from being in close proximity with her because, yep you guessed it..married. So legitimately, we are friends. But there are times when I was like...yo...uh....wheres your husband. I CAST THEE AWAY FROM ME!! I REBUKE THEE!!!. lol. but then there are times when we can sit and get twisted and be aiight. Honestly, shes like a me...but a her.

Anyway. we chill for a bit, some company comes over and then realization 2 comes.

Women LOVE watching adult movies. Seriously. Im watching this movie called Lust, Caution. When the doorbell rang the first time, it was actually on one of the 2 sex scenes, and I was like great, now they think all I watch is porn. So i forwarded it to the next scene. Anyway, as the drinks flow, they are like...heyyyy play the scene. (It was two women, and they both wanted to see it...so i showed it.) I already saw it, but watching them watch it was interesting. I mean, i dont know if they were looking at it from the artistic aspect as I was, or if it was for some kind of idea generating event. But either way, it was a quite occurrance and we all pretty much had our own thoughts.

later in the evening, some friends joined us and we went to one of the Embassies for a party.
Realization number 3
Women like men who can move

Realization number 4
Those women dont always like to move themselves..they dont know how.

Realization number 5
Jealousy transcends culture...
Why did a girl tell me that she deleted my number and then look surprised when I laughed in her face....like really? 9th grade???facepalm.

Realization number 6.
Sometimes....you just got to go with it.
As I was on the balcony overlooking the party and someone started to remove my shirt....I guess?!?

Realization number 7-10.
If you couldnt get the girl after realization number one, the more alcohol she has probably wont change that. If she wants you pre realization one, you have a good chance after a few sips.
but hey, like Brain always said to Pinky, there is always tomorrow.

So tonight I saw Wall- E.

I suppose the movie was totally worth the two hours that I spent at the theater. The movie was pretty cute, I have seen others. Made me laugh...but lord knows it was no Shrek.

The day was pretty long. So I guess I am going to go home and watch some more of Lust,Caution and then possibly read a bit more of my dragon book.

Work related, I think I may have a bit too much on my plate. Honestly I am doing so
much each day and I am not getting the personal things finished as I would like to. I still need to know who is going to be the benefactor of my life if anything should happen to me.

I can't keep on watching these sad movies without wondering about myself... Enough of that. Now that I know I can write my thoughts in this thing, I'll be able to be a mobile blogger... Granted I have a connection. This thing is awesome

Sent from my iPod

Perhaps

And it occurred to me as I was in the midst of getting some coffee (the free kind) downstairs, that I still kind of have the opportunity to ask her to marry me.
Then on other levels even that is the wrong tact to this issue. I will still be here, she will still be there. When I return to America, who knows where I will be. Since of course there is no plan, doesnt that mean I can make a plan concrete? Yes and No...because I dont know if I want to live in Atlanta again.
Even though I have never lived there as an adult, always at my moms place...how can I live in the same city as my mother does...without living with her? I dont know. Alot of my friends (2) have moved back home after college and live with their parents, well into their 20s...but at 25? Its not like I am a failure or anything...far from it. But does it make sense?

I dont need to have my own place. Unless I want to be bad...kind of how I like to am anyway...but...it would be fun to have to sneak around again :D

hehe, they would call me a scrub and laugh as they walk away. Its ok. I know what im worth.

A Pre-Divorce Divorce

When you have never been married, but have had multiple divorces, what kind of person have you become?
I find myself feeling like I have just emerged from the separation of that harsh world of a divorce...yet, I have never been married. But it felt like I was married, and with that marriage came 2 years of separation. Voluntary as it may have been it was separation nonetheless. I am here, and she is there. Far away from me. So very far. So far in fact, that our closest encounter has been on the iChat, which is cool on some levels, but wrong on so many other levels.

So the decision was made to cut the throat of the elephant in the room, and allow the window and idea of reincarnation to live just incase our elephant decided to be reborn.

I know, its weird to speak like that, but I have just been listening to Sarah Palin talk, and I feel like Im getting better at avoiding the question by giving an answer that makes you go hmmmmm.

A year into it, and I am still healthy. No major injuries save a finger smashed in the car door after a long night of having a good time. The time has certainly flown. I think if someone told me last August that I would still be in Iraq in October, I would have shaken my head and said surely you jest...but they do not jest. I am truly still here.
It really is not as bad as it seems on the news, but then again...I do live a fairly privileged and sheltered life. The major draw of course is the whole long distance relationship thing... but now that im single... :\

I dont know. . .

And more so the difficult part is knowing that my other half...my better half, is out there coping with this by herself.I know she feels alone, but what can I do when my absence and presence both cause her pain? Should I offer a hybrid but deject presence or a complete absence. In the past I would take the route to look like an ass and make her want to get away from me...but that was me before I met this one.

On to something different.