I HAVE to speak on this

Ive been trying to maintain a silent demeanor for the last few weeks to kinda reflect on the state of the world. I cannot remain silent any longer. Some of this stuff going on is just...too much.

The thing that made me smh this week (shake my head).

"Penis theft panic hits city"- Reuters....
"Police in Congo have arrested 13 suspected sorcerers accused of using black magic to steal or shrink men's penises after a wave of panic and attempted lynchings triggered by the alleged witchcraft."

Really Africa...REALLY? Penis theft? I mean come on. Seriously. It is bad enough that there is famine and Robert Mugabe...but penis theft?
Ok, lets walk through the hypothetical start of this issue.

Man gets married. This man most likely could be a big figure, lets equate him to upper middle class. On the first night of the marriage, the wife is...unimpressed at the mans lack of manhood. So instead of doing other supermoves in the bedroom, dude is like....WTF happened to the rest of it. I swear there was more last night!!!....it must have been that witch down the street that put the evil eye on me or stole my penis!!!....
and then the violence gets stupid.

Dear people of the Congo.
Stop stealing penises. Also, please stop shrinking penises. It is not nice, and quite often can be embarrassing if you expect it to be there, and WHAM...no penis. Think of the health implications. Think of the shame. I mean, come on...

Also, please dont steal mine. I still use it for good in this world. . . like a super hero or something. ;)