Letting Go

How do we let go to something? Truly let go of it, shake it off, breathe anew, and NOT go back to wishing that we still had 'it' in our lives?

I honestly wonder about that sometimes. Actually, I wonder about it alot. Even after having become so good at saying goodbye to places, people, and things. I sometimes find myself reminiscing about the past, and how I came to be here without being there, having it, or being with that person.

It is so easy to throw up those two fingers and say peace, with conviction even. But as that beautiful character from Closer did, when you dont love someone, you dont love em. Thats it. But that does not mean that you do not care for them. That does not mean that when you are alone at night and you hear the booms outside of your window which shake the mantle and your glass of water, that you dont wish you were there next to them, wherever they are in the world. That does not mean that the regret that you hold in your heart for asking them to marry you only knowing that the answer that they would give was going to be no. But the question had to be asked. . .

But how do we maintain friendships with those who touched our hearts so closely and then decided to depart? We shun them. Because a leopard never changes its spots. A scorpion will always be a scorpion and it is in their nature to sting us.
Someone whose manner needs to hurt others does not know how not to. Even if all is going well, they need to bring the dagger out and stick it in to emphasize the fact that the feeling of being happy is not the feeling which they are accustomed to and no one else should have that joy of just...being.

I have said goodbye to so many that it is becoming habit. When I hear the strings of that symphony being tuned, I resign to the feeling that comes with it knowing that this too shall pass. I even council my friends on the best methods of forgetting and moving on. Easiest way I say is to just let go and leave all communication to the past. But I reserve the best medication for myself. It involves leaving, but they do not know that it involves leaving a whole life behind and creating a new one. Being a new person. Even leaving ones country of birth to seek a new life elsewhere. And then even that become habitual. It is habit that it works and then becomes habit to leave even before things turns sour. Thus the medicine becomes the malady...

And I love my medicine almost as I love my malady but I can not continue this fucked up addiction.

I HAVE to speak on this

Ive been trying to maintain a silent demeanor for the last few weeks to kinda reflect on the state of the world. I cannot remain silent any longer. Some of this stuff going on is just...too much.

The thing that made me smh this week (shake my head).

"Penis theft panic hits city"- Reuters....
"Police in Congo have arrested 13 suspected sorcerers accused of using black magic to steal or shrink men's penises after a wave of panic and attempted lynchings triggered by the alleged witchcraft."

Really Africa...REALLY? Penis theft? I mean come on. Seriously. It is bad enough that there is famine and Robert Mugabe...but penis theft?
Ok, lets walk through the hypothetical start of this issue.

Man gets married. This man most likely could be a big figure, lets equate him to upper middle class. On the first night of the marriage, the wife is...unimpressed at the mans lack of manhood. So instead of doing other supermoves in the bedroom, dude is like....WTF happened to the rest of it. I swear there was more last night!!!....it must have been that witch down the street that put the evil eye on me or stole my penis!!!....
and then the violence gets stupid.

Dear people of the Congo.
Stop stealing penises. Also, please stop shrinking penises. It is not nice, and quite often can be embarrassing if you expect it to be there, and WHAM...no penis. Think of the health implications. Think of the shame. I mean, come on...

Also, please dont steal mine. I still use it for good in this world. . . like a super hero or something. ;)

My beef with the NYT and "FRUGAL"

Frugal: entailing little expense; requiring few resources; meager; scanty


I am out of touch with the real world, I know this...I admit it. But am I that out of touch?
Looking at the New York Times it shows:
Frugal Traveler | Kyoto, Japan
"Seeking Tranquility, on Less Than $200 a Day!"

$200 a day? $200 a DAY!!!!!!

Wow. I mean, dont get me wrong, I have often been able to travel to different places around the world but calling $200 a day frugal?

I dont get it, some people in the world live on less than $2 a day. So it would be roughly 100 days (almost a third of a year) to enjoy that 'FRUGAL' New York Times kind of vacation.

Or maybe its Japans way of saying " No Poor(ish) people allowed!"

For the weekend, the article goes on to say that it will cost $500. OMG, maybe its me, and I am still living in my college budget days (because it is hard to get away from living life on the cheap), but damn $500 and no dancing ladies included? Hmm..sound investment....buy a picture book and call it a day.

And the kicker is that it is not even considering airfare, which generally runs around $500-$1000 round trip from the states.

Ok. I do know that tourism is a major source of income for lots of countries. I mean, it gives places like Jordan the gall to charge some $300 dollars a night and Egypt some $400 a night at select hotels....even when the people on the street are rioting about the price of wheat.

Inequality? Yes.
People think I am crazy when I talk about living in a country for a few months on less that $1000 US. But the way I see it, if they can do it, why the hell cant I?

That said, I think the New York Times needs a new 'frugal' traveler. The one that they currently employ is way out of touch with the idea of frugal...or is it just me, but I thought that frugal=cheap. And me, Im frugal all the way.